Hi there :)

So, i know i haven't posted anything in a while =O! But i am posting now (not like you care or anything hah)
It's creeping up on my 16th birthday im going to a concert friday <3 with my friend Betty :D it's Apocalyptica well that's all i have to say.

Simpler Things... well kind of.

Today, i was just thinking of when life was simpler, because i was looking at older pictures of me, like the one above. I look so young. I'm so different now my hair is much longer and black, my lips are thicker, and my cheek bones are higher. But besides looks, i'm much more mature. And I see so much more in the world and all the possibilities. Before i thought i'd just have to settle for being in an office the rest of my life and just not really do anything with my life.

I would come to learn the opposite. Anyhting's possible, you could get a life threatening disease and not even life to be 20. I knew that it was possible but i never gave it any recignition, so much has happened since i was 13. Alex's brother had a stoke at the age of nine. She got cancer at the age of 15. and i have lupus and arthritus at the age of 15. Her dad has leukemia. and everything is just so complicated. I don't want any pity, because i know somewhere out there somebody has it worse. And if you're reading this and thinking who alex is, she is practically my sister and she's always been there for me since we were 7. I pretty much live at her house i'm there more often than i am home. 

Just to clear things up, i'm not dying until im 80 i made that deal with myself. i'd prefer to be older though.

Also the thought dawned on me while i was in the shower earlier today, I don't believe in a god, but if all living organisms, well mammals actually have a simular anatomy, why is this the digestive system and reproductive organs always seem to be near eachother, and before the legs around the pelvic area. And the lungs above the stomache. i wonder... if there isn't a god... why is this, just simply for evolutionary tactic? But i wonder what tactic is this? Like i mean i pretty much know evolion is real, so what exactly progammed them to be so? was it the cells in the body just formed that way or was it that something else, and outside element put it that way? I'll never know. and it will bug the hell out of me.

Anyways, I'm exuborently tired. ~.~ and i'm kinda addicted to gaiaonline. lol. there is this creepy guy in my biology class named Randal, and he is the brother of a guy who has creeped me out since early middle school and he keeps hitting on me, on tuesday i believe, he came up to me and said, as he presented drawing of boys, who seemed quite suicidal, "if you were to go out with one of these guys who would you go out with?" i replied with, "none." 

He proceded to ask, "why?"

I answered,"because they're all emotionally unstable, and quite odd."

that creeped me out. lol. and on Friday he asked for my number, i gave him the number, 212-660-2245. call it if you're curious i promise it's not a horny old man.

anyways i'm going now, goodbye.

Well Then...

I've decided, i want to do something with my life, instead of being a log. I've quit world of warcraft, that's a start. I'm trying to be more sociable, which is proving difficult. I have a craving for being known, i know i don't deserve it but hey doesn't everyone always dream of being famous one day when they were younger, I did this frequently. Now it has to be done. You can do anything you want to do, you've just got to work for it. I'm going to start modeling soon for my sister fashion line heh >.> yeah i know seems silly but it's a steampunk and they're going to be using my sewing machine but my lips are sealed on the rest but it's proving to have the potentential to be quite successful. I mean look at my indirect mentor, Jared Leto, he used to be homeless and live in haiti, moves to L.A. gets into some modeling then a tv show and now he's a successful actor/musician.

Then again i may just be, being irrational lol it may be not possible at all and i'll end up being homeless! i mean really nobody reads this i just type it out for the hell of it. It's the equivilent to talking to myself but for some reason, it's less crazy.

On another Note...

I had a dream Martin's (the grocery store by my house) was being held up by some guys with guns and they were blocking people from leaving by having ninjas in the back and having them kill anyone who tries to escape... well i was one of them. it was odd i was dissapointed i don't enjoy dying, and yes i died in my dream and i saw it, and i DIDN'T die in real life. Myth busted.

Justin and i will have been together for 2 years on wednesday the 23rd.  =) it's kinda crazy how time goes by so fast.

im so bored i guess you can tell. hmm. anyways i guess im done.

ZOMGILOVEBEAUTIFULMEN:)

just saying i love this body ♥

haven't written much lately, bedridden with the flu D: and with lupus that is just a big fat party pooper.
anyways im going back to bed </3

THIS PICTURE.

yeah.

Interesting Dream.

Well, i had this quite interesting dream last night,
to start off, i was a super spy and i was working for both teams, but that was not known to the teams, and
they were fighting over money or something of that sort, and one team found out i was working for the other, and they hung me but i didn't die, so i just cut the noose off and went over, dodging their hits, towards me while yelling, " If you fight for the money, that's all you will have, just the money, you will be alone because you've pushed away everyone you once loved, yes you may have a big house but you've set yourself up for a life of sadness someone from the opposing team will just put a hit on you after the war! Do you not see what you've done? LIFE IS OVER FOR YOU, YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR BUT SOME FUCKING PAPER! I MAY JUST KILL YOU NOW, YOU'RE USELESS!!" man what the hell is my subconcious thinking? the reason i was working for both teams, was because my lover was on the opposing side and i was trying to defend him. Well anyways in the end i just escaped and left them to think about their lives, and then i woke up and got some pizza. and oh man i love when people write on me, not sure why it's just relaxing. but anyways i'm at my friend alex's house and
well she wrote on my back, and stomache, here are the pics.

went from this:

to this:
man do i look yellow?

well anyways, to this:

and finally to this:

i found it to look interesting.

but anyways that's all for now :)

oh man. 2-12-11

So today i went to cary town, in richmond hoping to buy a nice hat
no luck there. but i did get an adorable bunny keychain,
a cupcake
and a bottle of ramine.
also, i feel mindless hrmph.
probably a side effect of playing world of warcraft.
i want to go to a concert, but i have the complication of no good bands are comming to virginia any time soon.
WELL IM EXCITED
30 seconds to mars is coming to DC in april i better go! :D