Today, i was just thinking of when life was simpler, because i was looking at older pictures of me, like the one above. I look so young. I'm so different now my hair is much longer and black, my lips are thicker, and my cheek bones are higher. But besides looks, i'm much more mature. And I see so much more in the world and all the possibilities. Before i thought i'd just have to settle for being in an office the rest of my life and just not really do anything with my life.
I would come to learn the opposite. Anyhting's possible, you could get a life threatening disease and not even life to be 20. I knew that it was possible but i never gave it any recignition, so much has happened since i was 13. Alex's brother had a stoke at the age of nine. She got cancer at the age of 15. and i have lupus and arthritus at the age of 15. Her dad has leukemia. and everything is just so complicated. I don't want any pity, because i know somewhere out there somebody has it worse. And if you're reading this and thinking who alex is, she is practically my sister and she's always been there for me since we were 7. I pretty much live at her house i'm there more often than i am home.
Just to clear things up, i'm not dying until im 80 i made that deal with myself. i'd prefer to be older though.
Also the thought dawned on me while i was in the shower earlier today, I don't believe in a god, but if all living organisms, well mammals actually have a simular anatomy, why is this the digestive system and reproductive organs always seem to be near eachother, and before the legs around the pelvic area. And the lungs above the stomache. i wonder... if there isn't a god... why is this, just simply for evolutionary tactic? But i wonder what tactic is this? Like i mean i pretty much know evolion is real, so what exactly progammed them to be so? was it the cells in the body just formed that way or was it that something else, and outside element put it that way? I'll never know. and it will bug the hell out of me.
Anyways, I'm exuborently tired. ~.~ and i'm kinda addicted to gaiaonline. lol. there is this creepy guy in my biology class named Randal, and he is the brother of a guy who has creeped me out since early middle school and he keeps hitting on me, on tuesday i believe, he came up to me and said, as he presented drawing of boys, who seemed quite suicidal, "if you were to go out with one of these guys who would you go out with?" i replied with, "none."
He proceded to ask, "why?"
I answered,"because they're all emotionally unstable, and quite odd."
that creeped me out. lol. and on Friday he asked for my number, i gave him the number, 212-660-2245. call it if you're curious i promise it's not a horny old man.
anyways i'm going now, goodbye.
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